Dear 2001 Brittany,
Hello from the future. It’s 2021, and we’re 38. And before you say anything, that’s NOT old.
Let’s get some things out of the way. I’m writing to you from Jordan, so you achieve your dream of living overseas. You’re married. You don’t have kids, but you made that decision and are happy about it. You’ve got a lot of gray hair (don’t freak out) and people actually think it’s pretty badass.
I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately, so I want to share some of the things that I’ve learned over the last 20 years. And don’t roll your eyes – since I am you, this is basically a glimpse into your future, so it would be smart to pay attention.
Stop plucking your eyebrows
I’m serious. Just. Stop. I know the overplucked look is in right now, but it really doesn’t last. You don’t know what memes are yet, but one day you will, and 2021 is full of memes making fun of McDonald’s arch brows. I’m doing you a favor, trust me.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
You’ll go through some tough times that teach you just how much you need help and support from other people (head’s up: unemployment will be a doozy). This doesn’t mean you’re weak. The sooner you embrace the fact that you can’t do things alone – and that you don’t have to – the better things will be. This will take a few tries to get right and will feel uncomfortable at first, but don’t give up.
Which leads me to my final point…
Things will get better
Remember: because I am you, I know exactly how you’re feeling right now. I see you crying on the bathroom floor after purging. I feel the burning in your throat. I hear the thoughts racing through your brain, wondering what’s wrong with you and why you can’t just concentrate like “normal” people. I know you’re ashamed of turning to an eating disorder and hiding it from Mom, Dad, and everyone else who loves you.
Things really do get better. Life won’t always be like this, believe me. You graduate and go to college and meet some really cool people. You even go to England to get your Master’s degree (yep, you get two degrees, sis) and you meet really cool people there, too. Spoiler alert: one of them ends up being your husband.
Equally as important, you get help the you need. You eventually start seeing a therapist who actually cares and gives you tools for managing your energy and anxiety. You find a support network to get you through the moments you can’t see a way out of. You start journaling. A lot.
I know this is a lot to take in right now, and it’s ok to be scared. But I need you to know that you’re not a failure and nothing is wrong with you. I’ve seen what’s on the other side of this pain – we get through this. And even though we still have a lot to learn, I am so incredibly proud of you and how far you’ve come.
Keep going. You got this.
Much love,
2021 Brittany
P.S. Don’t make any big plans for 2020. Just trust me on this.
