I’m a very goal-oriented person. I live my life by making lists and crossing things off them.
But personal goals can be hard. It’s almost too easy to make aspirational goals for ourselves that turn out to be more difficult to achieve than we thought, no matter how important they are to us.
For example, when was the last time you made New Year’s resolutions and stuck to them?
I think the terms we use when setting personal goals matters. For example, the word resolve means you reach a firm answer or decision about something. So when we make New Year’s resolutions, what we’re essentially saying is “I resolve to quit smoking” or “I resolve to live healthier.” But because there is a sense of pressure to have such certainty about our New Year’s resolutions, it can feel like a much bigger failure if we give up on them (which on average 80% of us do within the first month).
When you intend something, however, you have it in mind as a purpose or a goal. Intention is then your commitment to achieving that purpose or goal in the future. It requires planning. It’s a literal state of mind.
Last year, as I reflected on how I envisioned 2021 being different than 2020 (apart from the obvious), I decided to set intentions rather than resolutions. I not only thought about what I wanted to do, but also how I wanted to feel, and thus what would help me move towards that.
Here are the three intentions I had for 2021, and the steps I’ve taken to progress on all three.
1. Launch my blog
You reading this post means this intention lives on – and now you’re a part of it! As I noted in my first post, it took me over a year to launch this blog. One reason for the delay was being so excited about this project that I was terrified of it failing. What if people hated it? What if I’m actually a terrible writer? I put barriers in my own way to delay the launch. I focused on minute details like footer dimensions and pixel height and convinced myself I couldn’t possibly launch until everything was “perfect.”
But I had to remind myself that the whole point of The Britt Blog was having something to invest in besides my career. It was an outlet. It was a way to show that things aren’t perfect – and that they don’t have to be.
So, I got out of my own way. I created an editorial calendar in Excel to keep me on track, and with the help of my coach, began planning my posts in a way that tells a better story of who I am and what I’m about. Even though I’m still settling into a blogging schedule, I’ve learned a lot through this process. And I want to thank all of you for being a part of this journey.
2. Be more intentional about my mental health
I used the word “intentional” in this intention. That’s how you know it’s serious.
My brief previous experiences of therapy were so bad that I decided long ago to deal with my mental health on my own. For years, journaling was my way to try to sort out racing thoughts and talk myself off proverbial ledges. I found coping mechanisms and tools that worked for me. I exercised to help burn off extra brain energy.
But 2020 was my wakeup call. I realized that there was a lot that I thought I was handling pretty well, but wasn’t. And that I thought I was hiding pretty well, but wasn’t. I knew it was time to seek professional help again.
I started therapy three-ish months ago. It has simultaneously been one of the best and scariest things I’ve ever done.
I’ve also set two daily goals for myself: going for a 20 minute walk and spending 30 minutes working on my blog. They’re on a post-it stuck to one of my monitors so I see them every day. One makes sure I get outside and the other helps me focus on a hobby outside of work. Both help me set boundaries and reminds me to take things day-by-day.
3. Continue to train like an athlete
Weightlifting has been my movement of choice since a psoas muscle injury in 2018 forced me to stop running. People have different opinions about weightlifting and eating disorder recovery, but for me, it has helped rebuild my mental strength and heal my relationship with my body that bulimia nearly destroyed.
The mental discipline of being an athlete really resonated with me. I considered myself a “recreational athlete”, and built my workout splits around gaining greater agility and mobility along with lean muscle.
But around the same time I had my reckoning about mental health last year, I also hit a fitness plateau. I realized I’d gone as far as I could on my own, and that I needed to seek expertise in order to get to the next level. I saw a personal trainer for a few months last summer, but gyms were often first to close when COVID restrictions would hit, and I needed something more consistent.
My coach is a former athlete who’s been a fitness educator and nutrition coach for over 20 years. I started working with her in March, and it’s been the best decision I’ve made apart from going to therapy. As someone in remission from an eating disorder, it’s been so darn refreshing to work with a fitness coach who actually listens when I say I can’t “do numbers” (i.e. discuss calories, weight, macros, etc.). I recognize this is a privilege that not everyone has, and it’s one I don’t take lightly.
Setting your own intentions
Last week’s Autumn Equinox marked the beginning of Fall, and has also traditionally signaled a time of reflection. The thinking is that if Summer’s increasing daylight represents “expansion” and growth, then Fall’s transition to increasing hours of darkness provides a moment to pause and look inward. Meaning, now’s a great time to set some intentions for yourself – no need to wait until New Year’s.
What intentions do you have for the coming year?
